Chuck vs The Emoticon
by ne71
Summary: Chuck and Sarah have an IM discussion. Silliness ensues. Now a multichapter! More Casey! More fighting! Seriously, there is.
1. Chuck vs the Emoticon

_Just a goofy little idea. This would take place probably right after "Chuck vs The Suburbs."_

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Chuck vs the Emoticon

**nrdhrdr01: **sarah

**swalker218: **Chuck? Is that you?

**nrdhrdr01: **hey wht r u up 2

**swalker218: **Oh, you know, the usual. Filing reports, updating security protocols, using complete words and punctuation.

**nrdhrdr01: **funny

**swalker218: **Seriously, Chuck, is it that difficult to put a period at the end of your sentences?

**nrdhrdr01: **nvr figured u 4 a grammar junkie

**swalker218: **Just a pet peeve of mine.

**nrdhrdr01: **one more thing i know about u then

**swalker218: **And yet he continues to commit the offenses.

**nrdhrdr01: **Fine. Happy?

**swalker218: **Ecstatic. So, what's up?

**nrdhrdr01: **Nothing. Just bored. Is Casey down there in Castle with you?

**swalker218: **He's on his way. Chuck, where are you?

**nrdhrdr01: **At the Buymore.

**swalker218: **Using the PC at the Nerd Herd station? Is that on a secure line?

**nrdhrdr01: **Please. It's me.

**swalker218: **:)

**nrdhrdr01: **Sarah Walker! Using an emoticon! I'm shocked over here!

**swalker218: **Don't get used to it.

**nrdhrdr01: **Oops, hang on a sec--

**swalker218: **Okay.

_nrdhrdr01 signed off at 5:37:58 PM_

_nrdhrdr01 signed on at 5:48:29 PM_

**nrdhrdr01: **Still there?

**swalker218: **Yes. Everything okay?

**nrdhrdr01: **Just out of curiosity - if I were to, say, throttle the next irate customer who insisted the slowness of his laptop was my fault and not the 189 gigabytes of furry porn on his hard drive, would your powerful government connections be able to get me a "not guilty" verdict?

**swalker218: **I could pull some strings.

**nrdhrdr01: **Good to know.

**swalker218: **Having one of those days?

**nrdhrdr01: **However can you tell?

**swalker218: **Well, you're normally not the throttling type.

**nrdhrdr01: **This is true. I'm usually more of the "smile and nod until they go away" type.

**swalker218:** :)

**nrdhrdr01: **Another one! This is epic!

**swalker218: **What can I say; you bring out the worst in me.

**swalker218: **Oh, be careful when you leave today. There are baby coyotes in the parking lot.

**nrdhrdr01: **Is that code?

**nrdhrdr01: **The penguins swim at dawn.

**swalker218: **The fire department caught one this morning.

**nrdhrdr01: **A penguin?

**swalker218: **No, a coyote.

**nrdhrdr01: **Did he have a big box with "Acme" stenciled on the side?

**swalker218: **?

**nrdhrdr01: **That's from… you know what, never mind. What did they do with him?

**swalker218: **They gave him milk and put him in a cage right behind the Double O.

**nrdhrdr01: **Are they gonna let him go? Or do you get to keep him?

**swalker218: **I don't want any pets, especially a coyote. Animal control is going to take him out to the wild and release him later today.

**nrdhrdr01: **Why? You could train him, start a circus.

**swalker218: **In my hotel room?

**nrdhrdr01: **Teach him to ride a little unicycle, act out the Gettysburg address with a hedgehog audience…

**swalker218: **You're not even listening anymore, are you?

**nrdhrdr01: **(It's easier to just play along, Walker.) Training them to juggle will be a problem, but fortune rewards the patient.

**swalker218: **Will you help me?

**nrdhrdr01: **(Attagirl.) About time you asked.

**nrdhrdr01: **Trained more hedgehogs in my day than you could shake a stick at, young lady.

**swalker218: **Let's do it. I'll give my 2-week notice.

**nrdhrdr01: **I just did 30 seconds ago.

**swalker218: **I had a gerbil when I was five, so I have some experience.

**nrdhrdr01: **Outstanding, you're practically an expert.

**swalker218: **We'll need a name for the act.

**nrdhrdr01: **How about… Sarah's Coyote Circus, with special guest stars the Hedgehog Five.

**swalker218: **You can't give me all the credit. It'll have to be named Chuck & Sarah's Coyote Circus, with special guest stars the Hedgehog Five.

**nrdhrdr01: **Why does my name go first? It's your Coyote.

**nrdhrdr01: **I can see it now, little hedgehogs dressed as clowns, holding tiny seltzer bottles...

**swalker218: **You're not right in the head, you know that?

**nrdhrdr01: **Come on! We'll make millions!

**swalker218: **(sigh)

**nrdhrdr01: **I bet when you woke up this morning you thought you weren't going to be talking about hedgehogs. Well, that's where you're wrong, girlie.

**swalker218: **:) Actually, I had a dream that I was going to be talking about hedgehogs with you.

**nrdhrdr01: **Really? Was I dressed like Napoleon?

**swalker218: **You had the same dream?

**nrdhrdr01: **It's uncanny.

**swalker218: **So, what's bothering you?

**nrdhrdr01: **?

**swalker218: **Come on, Chuck. I've known you long enough to know that when you start rambling about Hedgehog Circuses, there's something bothering you.

**nrdhrdr01: **Coyote circus. The Hedgehogs are guest stars only.

**swalker218: **Chuck…

**nrdhrdr01: **Okay. Okay.

**nrdhrdr01: **Just been thinking…

**nrdhrdr01: **It gets to be too much sometimes, you know?

**nrdhrdr01: **The secrets, the lies…

**nrdhrdr01: **Going out and doing… what we do… at night, not being able to tell anyone about it…

**swalker218: **And then you sit there at the BuyMore all day and have furry porn connoisseurs abuse you.

**nrdhrdr01: **That's about the gist of it, yeah.

**nrdhrdr01: **And kudos for knowing how to spell "connoisseurs."

**swalker218: **Just one of my many talents.

**nrdhrdr01: **Anyway. That's it. Just kind of fed up is all. Nothing you can do about it, but thanks for listening.

**swalker218: **Well, maybe there is something I can do about it.

**nrdhrdr01: **Is that so? And what' might that be?

**swalker218: **Seems to me you deserve the night off.

**nrdhrdr01: **I'd love the night off. But I have to stay late tonight just to work through the mountain of desktops that have piled up in the Cage.

**swalker218: **Don't worry about that. I can have a couple of CIA techs take care of those.

**nrdhrdr01: **Really?

**swalker218: **Hey, if I can keep you out of jail for throttling a deviant laptop user, I can certainly get some of your busy work to disappear.

**nrdhrdr01: **You're aces, Sarah Walker. And don't think it went unnoticed that you believe it'll take two CIA technicians to do the day job of one Chuck Bartowski.

**swalker218: **I'd get three, but that would raise too many eyebrows.

**nrdhrdr01: **Wow. You really know how to talk to me, lady.

**swalker218: **Another of my many tal7yru756

**nrdhrdr01: **What's "tal7yru756"? :) Another code word?

**nrdhrdr01: **Sarah?

**nrdhrdr01: **Hello? You still there?

**nrdhrdr01: **Sarah, I just called Casey, no answer. Are you all right?

**swalker218: **Who is this?

**nrdhrdr01: **What? Who is this?

**swalker218: **What is the access code for the CIA's operative database?

**nrdhrdr01: **WHO IS THIS?

**swalker218: **This is the man who followed Major Casey into your little hideaway, and now has him at gunpoint.

**nrdhrdr01: **What about Sarah?

**swalker218: **When she wakes up, she'll have a nasty bruise.

**nrdhrdr01: **But they're both alive?

**swalker218: **For now. If you don't give me the code, that will most certainly change.

**swalker218: **And for the record, your Mr. Casey is currently assuring me that you are, and I quote, "A blabbering moron who couldn't be trusted with a CIA access code if he were the last idiot on earth."

**nrdhrdr01: **Well, at least I don't have to ask you to prove that's really him.

**swalker218: **Quite. Should I listen to him? Are you a moron who has not been entrusted with the access code?

**nrdhrdr01: **No, I have it. And tell Mr. Casey that the world would have been much better off if Carter had gotten re-elected in 1980.

**swalker218: **He's making something of a disturbing noise.

**nrdhrdr01: **That'd be his "Trickle-Down Economics" growl.

**swalker218: **You're wasting my time. The code. Now.

**nrdhrdr01: **How do I know you won't hurt them?

**swalker218: **You don't. You'll have to take my word for it.

**nrdhrdr01: **So, you have a gun on Casey right now?

**swalker218: **Yes.

**nrdhrdr01: **You're pretty good at typing with one hand.

**swalker218: **I don't know what that has to do with anything.

**nrdhrdr01: **It'll occur to you.

**swalker218: **The code, immediately. Or John Casey dies, then the girl.

**nrdhrdr01: **Fine. Fine. But it's an encrypted algorithm, not an alphanumeric code.

**swalker218: **I don't understand.

**nrdhrdr01: **I didn't think you would. What I'm saying is that I'll have to send you a file. The file will provide you with access to the information you want.

**swalker218: **Then do it.

_nrdhrdr01 sent you a file named "slepupld_flv"_

**nrdhrdr01: **Okay. It's done.

**swalker218: **I don't see the database.

**nrdhrdr01: **Did you get the file?

**swalker218: **I don't know. It said something about a file some lines up.

**nrdhrdr01: **Well, you should see a window asking if you want to accept the file.

**swalker218: **No. I don't see any window.

**nrdhrdr01: **Okay, no problem, it's probably just sitting under the active window. Minimize the chat window and you'll see it.

**swalker218: **How do I do that?

**nrdhrdr01: **Minimize the window?

**swalker218: **Yes.

**nrdhrdr01: **Don't you use a computer?

**swalker218: **Well, yes, a Macintosh.

**nrdhrdr01: **Ah. A Mac person.

**swalker218: **What's that supposed to mean?

**nrdhrdr01: **Nothing, nothing. My ten year-old cousin has one, they're very shiny. Okay, do you see a small box at the bottom of the screen, flashing yellow?

**swalker218: **Yes.

**nrdhrdr01: **Click on that box, then click "accept file."

**swalker218: **Okay, done.

**nrdhrdr01: **Now, this is the important part. You should see another box asking if you want to open or save the file.

**swalker218: **Yes. I see it.

**nrdhrdr01: **Click on the "open" button.

**nrdhrdr01: **And it's been nice knowing you.

**swalker218: **Bartowski?

**nrdhrdr01: **Casey? Is that you? Are you okay?

**swalker218: **Fine.

**nrdhrdr01: **What about Sarah?

**swalker218: **She's coming around now.

**nrdhrdr01: **Did it work?

**swalker218: **Something sure did. What did you do to this guy?

**nrdhrdr01: **Modified version of Fulcrum's upload. Their file worked off a series of images designed to wipe a mind completely clean, bringing about a coma or even death. I went through the images one by one a few days ago, and removed the most complex, re-saving it as my own version. The result should be that our guy is just unconscious for a couple hours. Does that make sense?

**swalker218: **I don't know, I fell asleep after "a series of images."

**nrdhrdr01: **You're a riot. Put Sarah on, will you?

**swalker218: **Chuck?

**nrdhrdr01: **Sarah? Are you okay?

**swalker218: **I'm fine. Nice work.

**nrdhrdr01: **Just one of my many tal7yru756. :)

**swalker218: **?

**nrdhrdr01: **Nothing. You'll get it when you read back over the conversation.

**swalker218: **Well, thanks. I owe you one.

**nrdhrdr01: **Do I still get my night off?

**swalker218: **I think you've definitely earned it today.

**nrdhrdr01: **Great. And what about you?

**swalker218: **What about me?

**nrdhrdr01: **Is Casey there?

**swalker218: **He's locking the Fulcrum agent up.

**nrdhrdr01: **Can he see the conversation?

**swalker218: **No.

**nrdhrdr01: **Seems to me I suddenly have a night open.

**swalker218: **That's true.

**nrdhrdr01: **I wonder what I'm going to do with myself.

**swalker218: **The mind reels.

**nrdhrdr01: **I think I can scrape up enough of my overtime pay to afford a restaurant nice enough to justify some sort of slinky dress.

**swalker218: **Make sure your purse matches your shoes.

**nrdhrdr01: **Casey?

**swalker218: **No, still me.

**nrdhrdr01: **Getting funny in your old age, Walker.

**swalker218: **:)

**nrdhrdr01: **The slinky dress is for you. What do you say?

**nrdhrdr01: **Hello?

**nrdhrdr01: **Sarah?

**swalker218: **Pick me up at seven.

_nrdhrdr01 signed off at 6:05:02_

_swalker218 signed off at 6:05:06_

_fluffybunnystarchildhippie signed on at 6:11:43_

**fluffybunnystarchildhippie: **Bartowski? You there?

**fluffybunnystarchildhippie: **Where's Walker?

**fluffybunnystarchildhippie: **What is this? Did you change my account name?

**fluffybunnystarchildhippie: **No one tells me anything.

_fluffybunnystarchildhippie signed off at 6:13:21_


	2. Casey vs the Princess

_Well, after several exchanges of "You do it," "No, you do it," with daydreamer2578, I finally decided to make this a multichapter. Thought it would be interesting to do a few different conversations between characters we don't normally see interacting. _

_So, without further ado..._

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**Casey vs the Princess**

**kicka$$ninjagrl:** Casey?

**kicka$$ninjagrl:** Casey? Are you there?

**kicka$$ninjagrl:** Caaaaaaaassseeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyy…

**kicka$$ninjagrl:** I know you're theeeeeeeeerrrrreee…

**kicka$$ninjagrl:** Very well, you leave me with no choice.

**jcasey1980: **How did you do that, Wu?

**kicka$$ninjagrl:** I knew it! You were ignoring me!

**jcasey1980: **Of course I was ignoring you. I ignore everyone.

**jcasey1980: **How did you get my computer to start playing music?

**kicka$$ninjagrl:** Please. Child's play for a hacker goddess.

**jcasey1980: **Then tell your inner child to make it stop.

**jcasey1980: **What is that noise, anyway?

**kicka$$ninjagrl:** Noise? That's t.A.T.u.!

**jcasey1980: **My ears are bleeding. Make it stop.

**kicka$$ninjagrl:** I was going to, but then you insulted my favorite girl band. Now you must apologize.

**jcasey1980: **Wu…

**kicka$$ninjagrl:** Apologize, John Casey.

**jcasey1980: **…

**jcasey1980: **I'm sorry. Now turn off the music.

**kicka$$ninjagrl:** Don't apologize to me, you didn't insult me.

**jcasey1980: **What?

**kicka$$ninjagrl:** Apologize to t.A.T.u.

**jcasey1980: **I'm not apologizing to Mr. Roarke's midget sidekick.

**kicka$$ninjagrl:** Then enjoy their dulcet tones. All day long. Aren't you logging in your sales numbers today, too? Gosh, you'll be at your computer for a while.

**jcasey1980: **Wu…

**kicka$$ninjagrl:** A simple apology to my favorite band. That's all I require.

**jcasey1980: **All right.

**jcasey1980: **Oh, tattoo. I'm so sorry.

**kicka$$ninjagrl:** t.A.T.u.

**jcasey1980: **Oh, come on.

**kicka$$ninjagrl:** It's " t.A.T.u.," John, not "tattoo." You're apologizing to the wrong pop culture icon.

**jcasey1980: **For crying out loud…

**kicka$$ninjagrl:** Ooh! Look! I have a bootleg of their 2004 concert in Helsinki! Let me just send that your way…

**jcasey1980: **Fine! Fine.

**jcasey1980: **I'm sorry, t.A.T.u. It was wrong to insult you.

**kicka$$ninjagrl:** There. Was that so difficult?

**jcasey1980: **You have no idea.

**jcasey1980: **Huh. The music stopped.

**kicka$$ninjagrl: **I'm a woman of my word.

**jcasey1980: **Well, this has been as fun as a colonoscopy. Now, if you don't mind, I have work to do.

**kicka$$ninjagrl:** Entertain me.

**jcasey1980: **What?

**kicka$$ninjagrl: **I'm bored. Entertain me.

**jcasey1980: **What makes you think it's my job to entertain you? Why don't you go bother your boyfriend the gremlin?

**kicka$$ninjagrl: **Morgan's at sensitivity training.

**jcasey1980: **Sensitivity training? Why does he need that? Isn't he already half woman?

**kicka$$ninjagrl:** Oh, he's all man. Take my word for it.

**jcasey1980: **As long as you promise to never, ever elaborate on that statement, I will absolutely take your word for it.

**kicka$$ninjagrl: **Anyway. It's all a misunderstanding. Some lady mistook this place for a hardware store and asked Morgan if he had any vises.

**jcasey1980: **Why would that land him in sensitivity training?

**kicka$$ninjagrl:** Morgan thought she was asking him to explain his bad habits.

**jcasey1980: **That'll do it.

**kicka$$ninjagrl: **So, he's in sensitivity training, she's in therapy, and now I'm bored.

**jcasey1980: **I don't see how that's my problem.

**kicka$$ninjagrl:** It's the world's problem. You're merely the one I have chosen to solve it.

**jcasey1980: **Oh, joy.

**kicka$$ninjagrl:** So. As I said before. Entertain me.

**jcasey1980: **And how, exactly, am I supposed to do that?

**kicka$$ninjagrl:** I don't know. Tell me a story.

**jcasey1980: **I'm not your nanny, Wu. Tell yourself a story.

**kicka$$ninjagrl: **Let's see… t.A.T.u. Live in Spain, Lena Katina's solo work… t.A.T.u.'s Greatest Hits…

**jcasey1980: **Wait, wait…

**kicka$$ninjagrl: **Yes?

**jcasey1980: **If - (and I can't believe I'm actually going along with this) - if I were to tell you a story - ONE story - will you let me finish my work in peace?

**kicka$$ninjagrl:** Providing the story pleases me, yes.

**jcasey1980: **All right.

**kicka$$ninjagrl:** Yayyy! Yay Casey! Yayyy!

**jcasey1980: **All right. Here we go. Once upon a time, there was a girl. Named… Charlie.

**kicka$$ninjagrl:** Charlie's a boy's name.

**jcasey1980: **It's short for Charlemagne. And this Charlie is a girl, trust me.

**kicka$$ninjagrl:** Okay,

**jcasey1980: **Anyway. Charlie was a very special little girl.

**kicka$$ninjagrl:** Is Charlie a princess?

**jcasey1980: **Heh. Yeah. Yeah, Charlie is definitely a little princess.

**kicka$$ninjagrl:** Oooh, good, I like princesses.

**jcasey1980: **Don't we all. Can I continue?

**kicka$$ninjagrl: **You may.

**jcasey1980: **Thank you. So, as I was saying, Charlie was a special little princess. She saw things that no one else could see. Where everyone else would see a tree, or a horse, or a castle, Princess Charlie would see the history in each of these things. She would see the lovers who had sat beneath the tree, the rivers the horse had crossed, or the enemies who had tried to breach the castle walls.

**kicka$$ninjagrl:** Ooh. That's cool.

**jcasey1980: **I agree. And for the longest time, Princess Charlie's visions were kept a secret by the King… King Beckingham. But on the Princess' 18th birthday, suitors from all across the countryside came to win her hand in marriage. And as each prince bowed before her, Princess Charlie saw the actions hidden in each one's past, and knew immediately that they were all liars and cheats.

**kicka$$ninjagrl: **Like most men.

**jcasey1980: **But then, the Princess saw one who stood off to the side, and had not approached. And so she came down from her throne and approached him herself. And when she was face to face with the prince, she saw the deeds of his past. And although some of those deeds were dark and terrible, she also saw that his intentions had always been noble.

**jcasey1980: **"What is your name, sir?" asked the Princess.

**jcasey1980: **"I am Prince Sawyer, of the Central Province," he replied. "And I am here to fulfill my obligation to King Beckingham. But although you are a beautiful princess, you would not want to give me your hand in marriage, for I am damaged by my dark past."

**kicka$$ninjagrl: **Ugh. This isn't going to be one of those "will they/won't they" things, is it? I mean, how long can that stuff go on?

**jcasey1980: **Well, it keeps the fans coming back for more.

**jcasey1980: **The Princess replied, "I have seen the actions in your past, and while they are indeed dark, I see also that your heart is pure."

**jcasey1980: **"How do you see these things?" Sawyer asked.

**jcasey1980: **"It is my gift," replied the princess.

**jcasey1980: **Now, unbeknownst to Princess Charlie and Prince Sawyer, the most despicable prince of them all, Price Bryant, had overheard the entire exchange. And when he realized the Princess' gift, he decided that he had to have the Princess for himself, so that he could use her visions to manipulate others.

**jcasey1980: **But Bryant knew that he was no match for Sawyer, and resorted to trickery instead. He whispered amongst the other princes about Princess Charlie's gift, until the each of the princes drew their swords to battle each other for the Princess' hand.

**jcasey1980: **As the fights broke out, Prince Sawyer stepped in front of the Princess to defend her. Bryant saw his opportunity, and snuck behind the princess to snatch her away while Sawyer was distracted. He clamped his hand over the Princess' mouth and carried her off to his horse.

**jcasey1980: **When Sawyer realized that the Princess was gone, he gave an agonized cry. He tore through the other princes, cutting each one down until he was the last one standing, finally collapsing at the King's feet.

**jcasey1980: **The King, heartbroken, summoned his most powerful knight, a dark and terrible warrior by the name of Sir Johann. Moments later the servants trembled as the pounding of Sir Johann's footsteps echoed through the halls of the castle. Sir Johann was known far and wide, as much for his propensity for violence as for his steadfast loyalty to the King.

**jcasey1980: **Upon hearing of Bryant's treachery, Sir Johann vowed to rescue Princess Charlie, even though Princess Charlie really annoyed the snot out of him.

**kicka$$ninjagrl:** You're kinda breaking narrative, Casey.

**jcasey1980: **Sorry. Anyway, as Sir Johann prepared to leave, Prince Sawyer approached him and demanded to accompany him. "I work alone," Sir Johann growled. "No longer," came Sawyer's reply, "for I know where Bryant will take the Princess. We have a history, he and I, and today we write the final chapter of that history."

**jcasey1980: **And before Johann could even argue, Sawyer mounted his trusty steed Portia and was on his way. Johann climbed upon his own horse, Victor, and soon he and Sawyer were at The Axis, an abandoned temple built into the side of a cliff that Bryant was using as his hideout.

**jcasey1980: **As they approached, they saw Princess Charlie, bound with rope and seated upon the highest floor of the Axis. Bryant was right behind her, keeping lookout for any intruders. Johann and Sawyer hid in a cluster of rocks before Bryant could notice them.

**jcasey1980: **"To attack from the cliff side is impossible," Sawyer said. "Bryant will clearly see us as we approach. We must find a way behind."

**jcasey1980: **"Bryant will hear us if we approach from behind," Johann said.

**jcasey1980: **"Then I shall attack from the cliff side, to distract him, while you go behind," said Sawyer.

**jcasey1980: **"You'll be giving your life as that distraction, Prince," said Johann. "Why would you do such a thing?"

**jcasey1980: **"Because although she looked into my past as saw all of my deeds, the Princess chose to see the good in me. And for that, I love her. I would gladly give my life for hers."

**jcasey1980: **Johann saw, then, what he had to do.

**jcasey1980: **"I am known far and wide as a dark and terrible man," said Johann. "But I am not so dark or so terrible as to let a man in love go to his death." And with that, before Sawyer could stop him, Sir Johann attacked the Axis from the cliff side.

**jcasey1980: **Bryant saw Johann immediately, and fired arrows which pierced Johann's armor. And still Johann fought on. As he came closer, Bryant used his higher position to rain down blow upon blow with his mace, and still Johann pressed forward. And finally, when they were face to face, the beaten and bloody Johann drew his sword and prepared to do battle with Bryant.

**jcasey1980: **Bryant drew his own sword. "You stand here a beaten man, Johann," said Bryant. "You knew to approach me in that fashion was suicide, and still you did it. What madness has caused to you act in this way?"

**jcasey1980: **"Love," was Johann's simple reply.

**jcasey1980: **"Love?" Laughed Bryant. "Am I to believe that the mighty Sir Johann, scourge of the underworld, feared enforcer of King Beckingham, has actually found it in his shriveled heart to love this woman?"

**jcasey1980: **"No," replied Johann, "but he has."

**jcasey1980: **Bryant, realizing his folly, spun around in time to see Sawyer, sword drawn. A moment later, that very sword was buried in Bryant's chest. Wordlessly, he fell to the ground.

**jcasey1980: **Sawyer quickly rushed to Princess Charlie, releasing her from her bonds and kissing her deeply. Their reverie was interrupted, however, by a crash from behind.

**jcasey1980: **Johann had dropped to the ground, his wounds finally overcoming him. Sawyer knelt beside him.

**jcasey1980: **"Why did you do this for me?" he asked.

**jcasey1980: **"It is my duty… to protect the innocent." Johann struggled to reply.

**jcasey1980: **"But I am far from innocent," Sawyer said.

**jcasey1980: **"Your heart is," Johann said, with his last breath. And then he was still.

**jcasey1980: **Prince Sawyer and Princess Charlie returned to the Castle and were married. And Prince Sawyer took Sir Johann's place in the King's army, protecting the land and the woman he loved. And when Princess Charlie gave birth to a son, they named the child Johann.

**jcasey1980: **And they all lived happily ever after.

**kicka$$ninjagrl:** John…

**jcasey1980: **What?

**kicka$$ninjagrl:** That was beautiful!

**jcasey1980: **Glad you liked it. You going to leave me alone, now?

**kicka$$ninjagrl: **I mean, I never would have guessed that you'd be able to come up with something like that!

**jcasey1980: **I'm full of surprises. Goodbye.

**kicka$$ninjagrl: **I seriously was crying at the end! I knew there was more to you than being a big meanie!

**jcasey1980: **Wu, I've got to get back to work.

**kicka$$ninjagrl:** You should seriously write a children's book or something! I mean, really!

**jcasey1980: **Look, you asked me to tell you a story, and I did. Now, are you going to leave me alone, or are you going to keep yammering on all day?

**kicka$$ninjagrl: **Jeez, Casey. I was just trying to give you a compliment.

**kicka$$ninjagrl: **I mean, everyone around here walks on eggshells around you because you're always so grouchy and you've got no patience for anyone and you think it's okay to push people around.

**kicka$$ninjagrl: **And the one time I get some kind of evidence of a real person underneath all that, I get my head bitten off for it.

**kicka$$ninjagrl: **If you think that's yammering, then fine. I'll leave you alone.

**kicka$$ninjagrl: **But for the record, I don't think you're as dark and terrible as you seem to think.

**jcasey1980: **…

**jcasey1980: **Wu?

**kicka$$ninjagrl:** What?

**jcasey1980: **You really liked the story?

**kicka$$ninjagrl:** :) Yes, John. I did.

**jcasey1980: **Well… thank you.

**kicka$$ninjagrl:** You're welcome.

**jcasey1980: **Wu?

**kicka$$ninjagrl:** :) Yes, John?

**jcasey1980: **That trick you did with my computer - making it play that song.

**kicka$$ninjagrl:** Yyyyyyyessss…

**jcasey1980: **Can you show me how to do that to Bartowski?

**kicka$$ninjagrl:** Meet me by the laptops.

_jcasey1980 signed off at 10:16:56 AM_

_kick$$ninjagrl signed off at 10:17:09 AM _

_nrdhrdr01 signed on at 10:48:29 AM_

**nrdhrdr01:** Casey?

**nrdhrdr01: **You there?

**nrdhrdr01:** Um… this is kind of embarrassing, but my computer is playing Neil Diamond and I can't make it stop.

**nrdhrdr01:** Would you happen to know anything about that?

**nrdhrdr01:** Wow. It's really loud and… Diamond-y.

**nrdhrdr01: **Casey?

**jcasey1980: **Payback's a bitch, princess.

* * *


	3. Jeff vs the Feds

_I don't know if I should thank daydreamer2578 for this idea, or blame her. I'll leave it up to you._

**

* * *

**

**Jeff vs the Feds**

**double0grl: **Jeff?

**emceesquared: **Who is this?

**double0grl: **It's Sarah Walker. Chuck's girlfriend.

**emceesquared: **Ellie?

**double0grl: **No, I just said-- It's Sarah. Walker. Tall blonde? I've been dating Chuck for almost two years now.

**emceesquared: **Jill?

**double0grl: **Wow. Yeah, sure. It's Jill. Look, I wanted to ask you something.

**emceesquared: **Sorry. No can do. I don't pick other farmers' mangoes. Manes before Dames, know what I mean?

**double0grl: **That… doesn't… it's wrong on so many… Listen, I've got a friend who works at the IRS. Can I ask you about something?

_emceesquared signed off at 1:35:58 PM_

**double0grl: **Jeff?

**double0grl: **Hello?

**double0grl: **Oh, for crying out--

_double0grl signed off at 1:36:28 PM_

_swalker218 signed on at 1:37:01 PM_

**swalker218:** Chuck? Are you there?

**nrdhrdr01:** Hey, Sarah, can I talk to you later? We've kind of got a situation here.

**swalker218:** What's wrong? Are you in danger?

**nrdhrdr01:** What? Me? No, no. It's just that Jeff kind of freaked out a minute ago.

**swalker218:** Oh… Um… what happened?

**nrdhrdr01:** No idea. He was sitting at his computer, then all of the sudden he screamed "Cheese it! It's the Feds!" and climbed up the stockroom ladder.

**swalker218:** Yeah. I think that's my fault.

**nrdhrdr01:** What? How is that your fault?

**swalker218:** Well, I was doing some background checks, and I noticed that Jeff had some pretty serious back tax penalties piling up.

**nrdhrdr01:** Oh, no…

**swalker218:** I wanted to see if I could help him straighten it out, so I told him I had a friend at the IRS.

**nrdhrdr01:** No, no, no… Sarah, you never mention any kind of government agency around Jeff. You remember, this is the guy who believes the FDA are inserting nanobots into the nation's jalapeño supply.

**swalker218:** Oh, yeah. That was the weirdest trip to Chili's ever.

**nrdhrdr01:** This is what I'm saying.

**swalker218:** Sorry. What can I do to fix it?

**nrdhrdr01:** Don't sweat it, we'll get him down. Morgan is luring him with a Twinkie Colada as we type.

**swalker218:** What on Earth is a… you know what? I don't want to know.

**nrdhrdr01:** You're really better off.

**swalker218:** You know, I've been to all corners of the world, faced every imaginable danger, and defeated countless evil deviants, but your friends are the strangest people I've ever met.

**nrdhrdr01:** I bet you say that to all the Assets.

**swalker218:** No, Chuck, just you.

**nrdhrdr01:** Well, good. I feel special.

**swalker218:** :) As well you should.

**nrdhrdr01:** Uh, oh. Jeff's started throwing toasters. I better go help.

**swalker218:** Okay, I'll see what I can do about the taxes on my own.

**nrdhrdr01:** You're aces, Walker.

**swalker218:** Back at you, Bartowski.

**nrdhrdr01:** Why is it insulting when Casey calls me that but sexy when you do it?

**swalker218:** Just one of my many tal7yru756.

**nrdhrdr01:** :) Gotta go.

**swalker218:** See you.

_nrdhrdr01 signed off at 1:43:18 PM_

_swalker218 signed off at 1:43:20 PM_

--

_emceesquared signed on at 11:35:58 AM_

**emceesquared: **Lou?

**double0grl: **(sigh)

**double0grl: **Yes, Jeff?

**emceesquared: **Chuck said you did some nice stuff for me.

**double0grl: **Well, I just made a couple phone calls. It was really nothing.

**emceesquared: **Oh. Okay. Bye.

_emceesquared signed off at 11:36:41 AM_

**double0grl: **Jeff?

**double0grl: **(Are you freaking kidding me?)

**double0grl: **And, now I'm talking to myself. Lovely.

_emceesquared signed on at 11:45:09 AM_

**emceesquared: **Hey, I just checked with Chuck, and he's pretty sure that it was something.

**double0grl: **Jeff, I'm going to try the direct approach.

**double0grl: **Yes. It was something. It was a big deal. I had to pull a lot of strings and cash in a bunch of favors. But I got the penalties on your back taxes dismissed, and you'll be able to pay the original balance of what you owe interest-free over the next twenty years. It'll amount to about eight dollars out of each paycheck.

**emceesquared: **Eight bucks, huh? Well, there goes my weekly Irish frappaccino. But I guess you did your best.

**double0grl:** Ughhh… My head is killing me.

**emceesquared: **Hung over, huh?

**double0grl: **That would be preferable.

**emceesquared: **Listen, I've got a great remedy. I'll bring it over.

**double0grl: **NO! No, that's not necessary, Jeff.

**emceesquared: **Nonsense. I kind of owe you one, right? Are you at the sandwich shop?

**double0grl: **…

**double0grl: **Yes. Yes. I am at the sandwich shop. Because I am Lou. Please bring your hangover remedy to the sandwich shop.

**emceesquared: **On my way. I've got the sardines and the blender here, I just have to stop at the Large Mart and pick up some Rocky Road and Tabasco sauce. And some aerosol cans. Oh, and a funnel.

**double0grl: **Jeff, that sounds wonderful. I can't wait. And when you get here, if I seem like I have no recollection of this discussion, that's just the hangover talking, okay?

**emceesquared: **Don't worry. I can be very persistent.

**double0grl: **I'm counting on that.

_emceesquared signed off at 11:48:41 AM_

_double0grl signed off at 11:48:48 AM_

_swalker218 signed on at 11:48:59 AM_

**swalker218:** Casey?

**jcasey1980:** Yeah?

**swalker218:** Do we still have surveillance in Lou's sandwich shop?

**jcasey1980:** Yeah, why?

**swalker218:** Just start recording, okay?

--

_nrdhrdr01 signed on at 12:35:58 PM_

**nrdhrdr01:** Hey, can I ask you something?

**swalker218:** No can do. Dames before Manes, Chuck.

**nrdhrdr01:** ???

**swalker218:** Sorry. Inside joke between Jeff and me.

**nrdhrdr01:** Ah. Okay, that's disturbing. But speaking of Jeff… um… Lou was just over here.

**swalker218:** Lou… Lou… oh, the sandwich girl?

**nrdhrdr01:** Yes, Sarah. The sandwich girl.

**swalker218:** Well, that's nice. How is she?

**nrdhrdr01:** Not too good. She was pretty upset. Apparently Jeff went over there and attempted to force-feed her some sort of fish smoothie.

**swalker218:** Do tell.

**nrdhrdr01:** You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?

**swalker218:** Doesn't ring a bell, no.

**nrdhrdr01:** Well, she was pretty upset. I guess we're all banned from the sandwich shop.

**swalker218:** Oh, that's a shame. I know you loved the Chuck.

**nrdhrdr01:** Yeah, she's renamed that to the "Big Fat Blackberry-Fixing Jerk Sandwich."

**swalker218:** How rude.

**nrdhrdr01:** I know! I mean, the "fat" part seems unnecessary…

**swalker218:** Well, it's probably for the best.

**nrdhrdr01:** Uh huh. You know she was a long time ago, right?

**swalker218:** Chuck, are you insinuating that your cover girlfriend is still harboring some sort of deep-seated resentment over a girl you dated a year and a half ago?

**nrdhrdr01:** Well, a guy can hope.

**swalker218:** :)

**nrdhrdr01:** Listen, I want to thank you.

**swalker218:** For what?

**nrdhrdr01:** You know, for helping Jeff.

**swalker218:** Oh, don't worry about that. It was nothing.

**nrdhrdr01:** Well, that's just the thing. I know it was more than nothing. You probably had to stick your neck out to help a guy who hasn't done much for you outside of surreptitiously smelling your hair when you're in the store.

**swalker218:** Jeff smells my hair?

**nrdhrdr01:** I guess my point is that you didn't have to do that. Jeff definitely doesn't fall under your umbrella of protection, so it was really nice to you to help him. I don't think he has many people in his life who look out for him. It really says a lot about you that you'd do something like that.

**swalker218:** So, have you actually seen him smell my hair, or…

**nrdhrdr01:** You know, now that I think about it, I'm probably getting you mixed up with someone else.

**swalker218:** That's what I'm going to keep telling myself.

**nrdhrdr01:** Anyway, I figured that since you did something nice for Jeff, it's only fair that someone did something nice for you.

**swalker218:** Oh, really?

**nrdhrdr01:** Yes, indeed.

**swalker218:** And what might that nice thing be?

**nrdhrdr01:** Well, I don't like to brag, but you're not the only one who can pull strings, Walker.

**swalker218:** Do tell.

**nrdhrdr01:** I prefer to let my actions speak for me. Take a peek at your report log. I'll wait.

**swalker218:** …

**swalker218:** Chuck, how did all my reports get filed?

**nrdhrdr01:** Seems "Agent Carmichael" has a little pull with the CIA trainees. They didn't object to a little busy work.

**swalker218:** Chuck, that's a blatant abuse of power you don't even have.

**nrdhrdr01:** And?

**swalker218:** And I like it.

**nrdhrdr01:** Attagirl. Seems you have the night free.

**swalker218:** Seems I do.

**nrdhrdr01:** Slinky dress?

**swalker218:** Slinky dress.

**nrdhrdr01:** See you at seven.

**swalker218:** :)

_nrdhrdr01 signed off at 12:39:16 PM_

_swalker218 signed off at 12:39:26 PM_

_jcasey1980 signed on at 6:11:43 PM_

**jcasey1980:** Walker? You there?

**jcasey1980:** Walker?

**jcasey1980:** Any idea how footage that looks suspiciously like our surveillance video got on YouTube?

**jcasey1980:** It appears to be Jeff Barnes chasing that Lou girl around her sandwich shop with a blender and a funnel.

**jcasey1980:** She's actually doing a pretty good job of defending herself, considering her only choice of weapon is a length of bratwurst links.

**jcasey1980:** Walker?

**jcasey1980:** There's 350,000 hits on this thing already, Walker. We're going to be in a lot of trouble.

**jcasey1980:** Walker? You there?

**jcasey1980:** I really hate this assignment.

_jcasey1980 signed off at 6:13:21PM_

* * *


	4. Ellie vs More Hair

_This is the long overdue fulfillment of a promise I made to Course Jester. He requested an Ellie/Morgan exchange, and by god he shall have it. This one's for you, CJ. _

_You absolutely don't have to read "Ellie vs. the Hair Gel" to get this, but I'd a little extra happy if you did. Wouldn't it make you happy to make me that happy? _

_I obsessed a little bit with the timeline here, but finally figured the hell with it and just wrote the thing. So, if you pick up some factual errors, email them to me 12 years ago. I'll write myself a note and leave it where I'll find it yesterday. By tomorrow, they'll be fixed. _

_Finally, thanks to daydreamer2578 for letting me bounce ideas off of her noggin. She says it hardly hurts at all. I personally think she's just being nice. _

* * *

**Ellie vs More Hair**

_1997:_

**thegriminator: **Ellie! Are you there?

**elliebean79: **Who is this? How did you do that?

**thegriminator: **Huh? It's Morgan, Ellie. How did I do what?

**elliebean79: **Morgan? How are you typing on my computer?

**thegriminator: **Didn't Chuck show you how to do that when he set it up for you?

**elliebean79: **He showed me a bunch of things, but the only thing I remember is the on switch.

**thegriminator: **LOL, well it's a part of AOL. It's called Instant Messenger. You can type with people over the world wide web.

**elliebean79: **What's LOL? Libya Online?

**thegriminator: **Are… are you serious? It stands for Laugh Out Loud. You really are a newbie, aren't you?

**elliebean79: **Morgan, please speak English.

**thegriminator: **Sorry. Anyway, there's a whole language for talking over an instant message. I'd be happy to teach it to you.

**elliebean79: **I don't think that'll be necessary, Morgan. I don't see this catching on. I mean, I can talk faster than I can type, why not just call me on the phone?

**thegriminator: **Oh! I can do that! What's your number at school?

**elliebean79: **You know what? This is just fine. We can talk this way.

**thegriminator: **Oh. Okay. How's college?

**elliebean79: **It's great, actually. I've met some really nice people, I'm rushing a sorority, and there are tons of cute boys.

**thegriminator: **Cute… Ellie, you're not cheating on me down there, are you?

**elliebean79: **Absolutely not, Morgan. You know why?

**thegriminator: **Because our love is pure and true?

**elliebean79: **Because it's not cheating when there's NO RELATIONSHIP TO CHEAT ON.

**thegriminator: **Hey, you know how to scream over instant message! See? You're catching on!

**elliebean79: **How do you roll your eyes?

**thegriminator: **Huh. That's interesting. I wonder if there's some sort of system for conveying facial expressions over an instant message. It would open up a whole new range of communication possibilities…

**elliebean79: **OR, you could actually be in the same room as someone else and let them SEE your face.

**thegriminator: **I can do that, too! Which dorm are you in? What's your room number? It's only six hours to Stanford, right?

**elliebean79: **Morgan, you don't have a driver's license.

**thegriminator: **I'll get one! Is that what's been keeping us apart? I'll get my learner's permit tomorrow!

**elliebean79: **Morgan, many more things are keeping us apart than a State of California learner's permit.

**thegriminator: **Like what? Ellie, you know I'd do anything for you! Why can't we be together?

**elliebean79: **Morgan, I'm interested in men with ambition, like the ones down here. Men with a drive to succeed. Men who are capable of growing a beard.

**thegriminator: **I can grow a beard! I'll grow a beard tomorrow!

**elliebean79: **You can't grow a beard in one day.

**thegriminator: **I'll start!

**elliebean79: **I'll believe that when I see it.

**thegriminator: **If I grow a beard, will you go out with me?

**elliebean79: **Oh, my god…

**thegriminator: **You know, you can just type "OMG." Saves time.

**elliebean79: **Morgan, I'm hanging up now.

**thegriminator: **Signing off.

**elliebean79: **What?

**thegriminator: **You're signing off. Over instant message, the term is "signing off."

**elliebean79: **Enough, Morgan. No more instant message lessons, no more declarations of undying devotion, no more attaching yourself like a parasite to my computer and pestering me! I'm down here trying to learn something useful, not keep some perpetual child entertained!

_thegriminator signed off at 4:35:58 PM_

**elliebean79: **Morgan?

**elliebean79: **Hello?

**elliebean79: **Okay. Good.

**elliebean79: **Good. Yes. Good.

**elliebean79: **I guess I can stop typing now.

--

**chucksolo82:** Ellie?

**elliebean79: **Chuck! Why didn't you tell me about this instant messenger thing?

**chucksolo82:** What? I did! It's on page 36 of the manual I wrote for you!

**elliebean79: **Oh… yes… the manual. I definitely read that.

**chucksolo82:** I can read the sarcasm from here, sis.

**elliebean79: **LOL!

**chucksolo82:** Hey! You did read the manual! Chapter 12, Fun IM Abbreviations.

**elliebean79: **Yes. Once again, the manual. That is where I learned LOL.

**chucksolo82:** Listen, I just saw Morgan a few minutes ago. Anything you want to tell me?

**elliebean79: **Oh, Chuck…

**elliebean79: **I'm sorry, but he suddenly popped up on my computer, and he was talking this weird language, and there was shouting, and beards, and I just lost my temper.

**chucksolo82:** Beards?

**elliebean79: **Chuck, can I ask you something?

**chucksolo82:** Sure.

**elliebean79: **Morgan's a nice guy. And I know he's your best friend. But he's been chasing after me since we were little kids, and I've never given him a single indication that I'm the least bit interested.

**elliebean79: **Why does he still - after all these years - keep trying, when deep down he has to know that he's always going to be my dorky little brother's dorky little friend?

**elliebean79: **No offense.

**chucksolo82:** None taken.

**chucksolo82:** Before I answer that, I need to tell you something. But you have to promise me that you'll never, ever tell Morgan.

**elliebean79: **Okay.

**chucksolo82:** I mean it. NEVER.

**elliebean79: **Okay, I promise. No need to shout.

**chucksolo82:** Ha! Chapter 15, "Capitalization as Inflection."

**elliebean79: **Chuck…

**chucksolo82:** Sorry. Okay. Here goes…

**chucksolo82:** Remember Tom Cooper?

**elliebean79: **Ugh. Yes. What a creep.

**chucksolo82:** Yeah, well, what you might not realize is that Morgan and I know why you think he's a creep.

**elliebean79: **What do you mean?

**chucksolo82:** Back when we were in grade school, Morgan and I snuck into the junior high homecoming dance the first year you went. The plan was to put rubber spiders in the punch bowl.

**elliebean79: **Wait… someone did put rubber spiders in the punch bowl.

**chucksolo82:** Well, yeah, I didn't say we were unsuccessful. Anyway, we were hiding behind one of the big curtains when Tom Cooper called you that name.

**elliebean79: **You heard him call me Smelly Buttowski?

**chucksolo82:** Yep. I was mad, but Morgan was furious. It was all I could do to keep him from running out and tackling Cooper right there and then. We planted the spiders, and snuck out, and Morgan was still mad about it.

**elliebean79: **Wow. I had no idea.

**chucksolo82:** There's more. Do you remember what happened the very next day?

**elliebean79: **No…

**chucksolo82:** That was the first day Morgan proclaimed his undying love for you, remember? At lunchtime? In front of the whole school?

**elliebean79: **Oh my god, I remember! He got up on the table, and he started singing… what was the song…

**chucksolo82:** "Sexual Healing." Marvin Gaye.

**elliebean79: **Oh… how inappropriate…

**chucksolo82:** Well, in his defense, he was eleven. I don't think he grasped the true nature of the song.

**elliebean79: **Chuck, that was terrible! The whole school was laughing at me! And the other girls teased me about being his "girlfriend" for years!

**chucksolo82:** See, you're remembering that wrong.

**elliebean79: **What do you mean?

**chucksolo82:** The whole school was laughing at him, Ellie. He knew that would happen, and he didn't care. And as for the teasing...

**chucksolo82:** Did anyone ever call you the name Tom Cooper gave you? Ever again?

**elliebean79: **Oh…

**chucksolo82:** Yeah.

**elliebean79: **Oh, no…

**chucksolo82:** Yeah.

**chucksolo82:** That's why he does it, Elle. Even though it annoys you, and you think it's creepy, he knows that deep down inside, it's still got to feel good to have someone that crazy about you. And I'm sure he does it at some really inappropriate times, but then again, he also does it when he thinks you may need some cheering up.

**chucksolo82:** Like when someone calls you a name…

**chucksolo82:** Or you come home from the dentist with braces…

**elliebean79: **…or I'm away from home at a new school.

**chucksolo82:** Interesting when you think about it.

**elliebean79: **Oh, Chuck… I'm a terrible person.

**chucksolo82:** No, you're not.

**chucksolo82:** Well, maybe a little…

**elliebean79: **Chuck!

**chucksolo82:** Kidding.

**elliebean79: **Why didn't you tell me this a long time ago?

**chucksolo82:** Morgan made me promise. And you CAN'T tell him. Understand?

**elliebean79: **But, how do I fix this if I can't tell him I know?

**chucksolo82:** You'll figure something out. And remember, Morgan's tougher than he looks. And he's going to get tougher-looking, he says he's going to grow a beard.

**elliebean79: **Oh… um… that's interesting…

**chucksolo82:** Yeah, I don't know why he'd do that. His jaw was chiseled by Michelangelo himself.

**elliebean79: **It worries me when you talk like that.

**chucksolo82:** Hey, I'm secure in my manhood enough to admit when my little buddy is a hunk.

**elliebean79: **Okay, I'm signing off now.

**chucksolo82:** Yeah, I should go. I've got to buy a CD by The Verve, play Quake II, catch a late showing of "Men in Black," and watch an episode of the X-Files that I recorded on VHS. Because it's 1997.

**elliebean79: **That was a strange thing to say.

**chucksolo82:** It was. I felt compelled to say it, though.

**elliebean79: **Love you.

**chucksolo82:** Love you, too, sis.

--

**elliebean79: **Morgan?

**elliebean79: **Hello?

**elliebean79: **I can't tell if you're there or not. I had to read three chapters just to figure out how to open this box.

**thegriminator: **Chat window.

**elliebean79: **Morgan!

**thegriminator: **It's called a chat window. Unless you're going to get mad at me for giving you another lesson.

**elliebean79: **No, no, that's great! A chat window. I'm going to have to remember that.

**thegriminator: **What do you want, Ellie?

**elliebean79: **Oh, um… I wanted to tell you that I was thinking about something you said.

**thegriminator: **What?

**elliebean79: **Ready?

**thegriminator: **Ready for what?

**elliebean79: **:)

**thegriminator: **What's that?

**elliebean79: **Look at it sideways.

**thegriminator: **Huh. It's a face…

**elliebean79: **It's a smiley face. I'm smiling at you.

**thegriminator: **You're smiling at me…

**elliebean79: **Yes, Morgan. I don't want to give you the wrong idea or anything, but I do want to apologize for being mean earlier. The truth is that I'm down here, at a new school, and I haven't made many friends yet, and I was feeling a little sad, and I took it out on you. Can you forgive me?

**thegriminator: **You smiled at me…

**elliebean79: **OMG.

**thegriminator: **Elle Belle! You're getting it!

**elliebean79: **Morgan! No nicknames!

**thegriminator: **Sorry, sorry. Rule number 4.

**elliebean79: **Honestly, Morgan. Thank you for getting in touch with me. And I want you to know that you can IM me anytime.

**thegriminator: **I will! I'll do it every day! Every hour! What's your class schedule?

**elliebean79: **Maybe we can limit it to once a week.

**thegriminator: **Yes. That's the right idea. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. I'll be so absent, you'll be madly in love with me.

**elliebean79: **Hard to argue with that logic.

**thegriminator: **So, how's school going?

**elliebean79: **Okay. I think I've got my majors narrowed down to either Pre-Law or Pre-Med. It's a tough choice between those two, though.

**thegriminator: **Are you kidding me? You've got to go Pre-Law! Haven't you seen Ally McBeal? Lawyer chicks are majorly hot!

**elliebean79: **Okay, that makes the decision much easier.

**thegriminator: **Glad to help.

**elliebean79: **Well, I have to go study. Oh, before I go, I have to ask you something. Who sings that song that goes, "Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, let's make love tonight?"

**thegriminator: **Um… that's… Marvin Gaye.

**elliebean79: **Marvin Gaye. I've got to get that CD.

**thegriminator: **It's… um… a good one.

**elliebean79: **Good night, Morgan.

**thegriminator: **Night, Ellie.

_elliebean signed off at 8:36:58 PM_

_thegriminator signed off at 8:37:01 PM_

--

_chucksolo82 entered the chat room "Awkward Teen Angst" at 11:43:18 PM_

_jennyb81 entered the chat room "Awkward Teen Angst" at 11:43:40 PM_

**jennyb81:** Hello?

**chucksolo82:** Hey, Jenny.

**jennyb81:** Did I miss anything?

**chucksolo82:** I think we're the only ones here. Everyone else must be watching Dawson's Creek.

**jennyb81:** That doesn't come out until next year.

**chucksolo82:** Yeah, I know, but the joke fit too well.

**jennyb81:** Well, should we start talking about how our moms abandoned us and our fathers are distant towards us?

**chucksolo82:** I dunno. That's getting kind of old.

**jennyb81:** Okay, wanna cyber instead?

**chucksolo82:** Great! I'll put on my robe and wizard hat.

_jennyb81 signed off at 11:45:09 PM_

**chucksolo82:** Hello? Jenny?

**chucksolo82:** I've got to work on my timing.

_chucksolo82 signed off at 11:46:38 PM_

_

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Yeah. Broke the fourth wall a little more than usual on this one, but it's all in good fun.


End file.
